Dr Stacey Anwin on Writing for Self-Care

We use writing in our everyday lives for functional purposes (such as shopping lists), transactional purposes (such as emails to service providers) and work purposes.

But how often do we use writing for self-care?

Journalling is a popular form of writing for self-care. It allows us to take our thoughts and put them on the page. However, journalling is usually promoted as a regular, consistent practice requiring a set time to write each day.

What if I were to show you that there are simple ways of using writing (that you’re probably already familiar with) to help your mood, emotional regulation, and ability to cope with acutely challenging situations? Simple activities that you can do almost anywhere, anytime, without committing to a regular writing habit?

Why writing can help

Writing for self-care isn’t about creating polished work for others; it’s deeply personal. It’s about the process of writing, not the finished product.

Writing by hand taps into the mind-body connection. This is what you feel when you cry with laughter or imagine ‘butterflies’ in your stomach when you’re nervous. When writing is used to access this mind-body connection, it can help to improve emotional regulation, creating a positive sense of well-being. For this reason, the following writing activity simply won’t work using a keyboard or mobile device.

Note: Writing for self-care is NOT the same as therapeutic writing, which should only be done with a trained psychologist.

I’m using anger for this sample activity because it is an emotion that can be difficult to manage and alleviate. It negatively impacts on our relationships, interactions and health. And, of particular interest, our anger often masks other emotions we are not aware of.

Sample activity – Writing our anger

Tools:

• pen or pencil (plus coloured ones if available)
• sheet(s) of paper
• timer

Rules:

• no sentences needed (but use them if you want to)
• spelling, neatness, and word choice are not important
• write as much as you can in the given time

Part A

Get ready: Set your timer for 90 seconds

Get set: choose a pen/pencil

Go: Start the timer

• write ‘angry’ in the middle of the page and circle it
• draw a line out from the circle and start writing – one line for each idea
• write anything and everything you’re thinking about the anger (such as who, what, when, where, how, why). If you want to use coarse language, do so! No-one will see what you write except you.
• stop when the timer sounds

Review

Circle or underline the words and ideas that feel most significant. For example:

• builder insulted me and my home
• no other way to get flood damage fixed

Part B – going deeper

Set the timer for 90 seconds. Write more about the key ideas you circled, focusing on your emotions and physical sensations.

Review

In my example I felt a tightening in my throat, chest and stomach. I felt weepy. This is connecting with the sadness caused by loss that I hadn’t had time to acknowledge or deal with.

I also felt powerless because I was unable to have my house repaired or stand up to the builder’s bullying because he was the only builder I could get.

Summary

By writing about my anger, I’ve realised what I’m actually feeling is powerlessness and sadness. This insight allows me to shift my focus to finding ways to feel more empowered.

Optional follow-up activity – brainstorming ways to combat feeling powerless

Start a new page and set a timer for five minutes.

Aim to list at least 20 ways to feel empowered (only stop when the timer sounds).

Note: 20 ideas is a lot! When brainstorming, don’t be selective, don’t slow down to consider if what you’re writing is possible, effective, or sane. This is to bypass the thinking mind which can be overly critical. Don’t worry about spelling or neatness.

Review

Look over your list and circle at least one idea you can put into practice immediately.

For me, this is to call a friend and say, ‘I lost all of my photographs in the flood. I’m feeling awful. Can I cry on your shoulder for a few minutes?’

When I review my list, I see I’ve written some crazy ideas, like imagining a genie shrinking the builder and putting him in a cage with my pet mice.

Thinking about this ridiculous scenario makes me laugh.

By laughing, I’ve changed my emotional state. I no longer feel angry, or absolutely powerless.

Notes on the sample activity

This sample activity, while multi-step, can be as simple as you wish it to be. For example, you can stop after Part A if you wish. Sometimes, just getting the thoughts out of our heads, and/or acknowledging our physical responses, is enough to give us a greater sense of peace.

Final notes

This activity is one of a multitude of writing activities that can be used as writing for self-care. You can experiment with creating your own.

And now, over to you.

What are you going to write about?

By Dr Stacey Anwin

Bio

Dr Stacey Anwin is an expert on the benefits of personal writing, and the author of The Writing Project: Recovering the Writing Self and Regaining Agency through Writing about Domestic Abuse. She teaches women how to effectively use personal writing to improve their lives. Personal writing can lead to healing, clarity of thought, an improved sense of wellbeing and the ability to better cope with life’s challenges. It incorporates an expansive range of simple, do anywhere, anytime activities that are free to use.

Website staceyanwin.com